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My life!!!!
Actually I have no idea how many times I have lost hope for the future. There are many things to consider, sometimes a little thing that is unimportant at all bothers me for almost the whole week. It’s the feeling that makes me do so. Let us listen to my story!
When I was leaving my beloved family to study in a new city, I have never thought of this choice before. I just hope that after I pass my grade twelve exams, I will find a job to do. By doing that, I can help my family finance problems. Things are not always easy as we think it is, I finally announce that I got a scholarship to study in BTB. I wasn’t sure if I wanted or not. I asked my two other friends who got this opportunity as I did. I thought they would come here and study with me, but they quit because of the distance between the provinces. My two friends were in different places, one working in my province as a consultant and another studying in RUPP( her dream school) . I was very disappointed when she told me she didn’t want to study in BTB. Unfortunately, I tried so hard to hold my tear and smiled back at her saying it’s totally fine, when it wasn’t easy at all for me to deal with this alone. I was happy too, I was happy because she finally got to study where she wanted to. And I didn’t tell anyone about this( how I was disappointed with my own choice). Whenever I traveled to BTB , everyone kept asking me why I didn’t go to Phnom Penh like others. I had no good reason for that besides my family couldn’t afford it. That was really annoying to say that to me. It’s rude to decide what I have to do. Isn’t BTB a good place???? I wonder!!! Sometimes, I just ignored those repeated questions because I didn’t want to ruin my day with those stupid comments about my life. I’m not sorry for myself but for them, they should change their minds about my personal life. Too tired to explain!!!!
One funny story.
In my hometown we didn’t have any traffic lights so I had no idea at all how to ride my bike. I have lost more than two times in BTB. My parents were strict about going out with friends or going on trips. They never allowed me, that’s why I cannot remember the road or street that much. When I got lost , I asked people around and they told me all the ways back to my place. I was very happy. But not much of that a few days later I got lost again!!! Too bad
The first day at school.
I didn’t know anyone in the classroom. All of them were just sitting and chatting with one another. I remembered when I dared to talk to a person who was sitting next to me. It was Laihout. She was kind but not very talkative. After a few days, we become friends. I was very happy by the time that I got to know many people in my class. They were very lovely people and very nice to talk to.
Back to my family!
When I studied the first semester of the second year, my father was seriously sick. And what the worst thing was that he didn’t tell me about it. He hid it from me, whenever I phoned him, it’s always my mother answering me. I asked her about him but she said he was busy. There’s nothing to worry is only one phrase she said to me. Moreover, she told me to study hard before she hanged up the phone. It was about one month that everyone in my family kept this secret from me. Finally, my mother told me everything about my father who was in great pain for almost a month. He had diabetes; he accidentally injured on his mouth and it didn’t heal at all. ( I was scared and completely shocked by what my mother just told me, but tried not to cry. It’s hard not to cry, I was really hard to hold back my tears. I was crying inside my heart). My heart hurts badly when I saw my father who was always well-built, and right at that moment he was very thin. He smiled at me saying he was fine, he was perfectly fine. Don’t worry!! Study hard, my dear!! I told him to take medicine and I asked if I could go home to look after him . He suddenly said no. He didn’t want me to come back. Then he returned the phone to my mother; we talked for a while and she hanged up. Because she knew that I wouldn’t want to hang up the phone.
Who knows what happened next?
I was thinking about it for a week; I couldn’t sleep well at night. I dreamt a lot about death. I cried every night. Sometimes, I didn’t feel going to sleep at all. I kept calling my family to see how much my father was better. My mother said he tried everything in order to get better. He grew old and became very tired. But it didn’t work. He still grew thinner and thinner day after day. I had no idea what to do. I went to school with without any feeling, study without a mood. It was completely tough time. I remembered one thing that I carelessly fell down the stairs in the school, luckily I was okay. At that moment everyone looked at me with a sense of worried, I said I was fine. Unfortunately, it was not. I was bruises and bleeding on my hand. I found out at my room. The feeling of pain eating me, I feel like a broken soul falling apart from high mountain. This feeling was stupidly painful to escape from. It felt like a dream that no one wished to dream about. I felt lost and hopeless. I could find any place to go; I couldn’t go back home, therefore I couldn’t stop studying because it was my father’s dream.
After a long heavy rain, the sky turned blue again.
There months of healing, my father got better. He could eat and he could talk well. He phoned me and then told me everything. He said he had to get many injections and took many different medications; it was unbearable , but he did it . He said he did it. Everyone was happy. We spent a lot of money on his medicine. He was strong. If it was me, I would’ve taken those injections. I hurt so bad. My mother told me that he did tolerate it. She told me how he was feeling unwell about those treatments. I couldn’t tell how much it hurt mentally. I was worried about him, and I was weak to hear that. My aunt said that he sold or cows so as to buy medicine. She said the cow that supposed to be the one that can buy me a computer is sold for medicine. I didn’t even think of a computer or anything at all besides his illness. I told her that it was totally fine, I didn’t want anything besides my father. I want only him to be healthy again. She smiled at me and said ( study hard, young lady!!) soon, I talked to mother again and we stopped when my father nodded to take his medicine again.
It’s okay to cry when you can’t hold it anymore.
I was upset, but what I could do!!! I cried alone in the bathroom. The tears were pouring down like a rain and it could not be done. The more I told myself it was okay, the better it got worse. I had been crying for a an hour. My eyes were red like blood, my roommate asked what happened and I said I had stomachache, headache. They were worried about me. They gave me some medicine, but I didn’t want to take them. Finally I took them because I didn’t want to destroy their kindness. They were kind to me. I was glad to meet them. I kept calling my parents to get updated information about their situation. Things were going well, my dad was fine . He could eat more food. He was finally getting some rest. He could work again. He said he was bored with his life while being teated as a sick person. My dad was well and I was very happy with it. Nowadays he is very healthy. I am very pleased to see that.❤️😘
I usually don’t get along with my father, but what I know is that I love him very much. Sometimes he is very strict with me when I do something wrong or when I don’t do as he tells. My mother says I am a stubborn woman 😂😂 I don’t know that, but I always want to win my father whenever it comes an argument 😂😁 sorry dad, but this is true 😁☺️ although I love you and I love mum too. Both of you are my heart and soul ❤️❤️😘😘
In our life, there will be times for you to laugh, and there will be times for you to cry!! Please bear in mind that even though it’s a happy or a sad day!! Don’t take it too much!!
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You will forget it when the bright new day comes!!! 🦋 here it comes to an ending of my story, and however my life is filled with memories and love that makes it memorable.
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Finally, I want to say that I am happy to share this story with you guys. I understand that everyone has their own stories, different from one another.
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If you want to share yours, please comment below, thank you for reading . See you later 👋🏻
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